I was looking through my smses. Here are a sample of some of the myriad complex problems that the oxford student has to overcome. All real extracts from conversations or sms:
‘MY DOORKNOB FELL OFF’
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‘My ear hurts and I don’t know waaaaai.’
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‘I’m cold.’
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‘Do you think this is too much oil for this bacon?’
[Spoken 20 minutes before setting off fire alarm. And filling my room with smoky bacon smell]
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‘Something pooped on my bike D:’
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‘My crunchy nut is not crunchy! Evidently my room is tropical.’
